I quote self-help books daily

It started at a very early age.  When I was about 5, my parents unwittingly bought me my first self-help book.  It had to do with manners, and for a solid 6 months following I would break out into the rhymes when it came time to do anything. “This is not a horse’s stable, keep your elbows off the table” was repeated by 5 year old me at least once a day at dinner.  I don’t know how my parents didn’t kill me.

I now find myself doing this as a grown up.  Not with the elbows on the table thing (that actually bugs me…what’s so bad about an elbow, really?), but with the new source for any decision I have to make ever: The Bitch Book.

Oh the Bitch Book: What did I do before you and all of your infinite wisdom? Although author Sherry Argov has never met me, nor any of my friends to whom I’ve passed along advice from the tear and chocolate stained pages of her masterpiece Why Men Love Bitches, she has become the end all voice on what to do in every situation.  Thanks to Sherry, never will a man control my decisions: The Bitch Book will. I am strong (just not as strong as The Bitch Book), confident (as long as I can relate any situation I’m in back to The Bitch Book), and independent (of everything other than The Bitch Book). I can now confidently respond to any girl who asks “Should I call him?” with a sassy finger wag and “Oh no, girl, no. You KNOW the bitch book would not have any of that.”

 I’m going to make the official decision that it is ok to quote self-help books on the regular.  Something about them is a little scarier and more authoritative than one’s own unprofessional advice.  Like a Bible of sorts.  “And that is the word of The Bitch Book” is much more powerful than “That’s what I think.”

WWBBD bracelets coming soon.

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