What’s the difference between work travel and personal travel?

In 3 words or less: Someone else’s money.  But to describe this situationally…

Airport ride:
Work Travel: Girl needs her car service.  Cabs are so dangerous and SuperShuttles are for poor people.
Personal Travel: Let’s see, who do I have incriminating information about that would get me to the airport for a 6AM flight?

Number of Connections/Flight time:
Work Travel: What do you mean there are no direct flights from LA  to Nantucket?  I’m not connecting through fucking Boston.  OMG LIFE IS SO HARD!
Personal Travel: Atlanta is on the way from Los Angeles to Seattle, right?  Well, either way: the Nathan’s Hot Dogs in the Delta terminal is worth a little side trip.

Hotel Accomodations:
Work Travel: I know the W is $100 more/night than the Hilton, but everyone knows that Starwood Preferred Guest points have more cache than Hilton Honors Points, and I think in the long run, that will actually save us all money.
Personal Travel: I have enough Starwood points from work trips for a comped night at the Sheraton, right?

Food at airport:
Work Travel: I think it’s more time efficient to order a minimum of two entrees pre-flight.  There’s no time to send one back if it comes out wrong, so this is more of a nutrition need than excessive spending.
Personal Travel: Why is the McDonalds at the airport more expensive than every other McDonalds in America?  There has to be some sort of law against this.

Airport Purchases:
Work Travel: There are some stories that are better covered by Star than US Weekly, so in the interest of unbiased news reporting, I should pick up both, along with Life&Style, InTouch and British Hello!, and of course the New Yorker to put on the outside of these publications for judgement free reading.  While we’re at it, I think I need a couple hardcovers and a package of peanut M&Ms.
Personal Travel: I still need the peanut M&Ms.

Tips:
Work Travel: You get a tip and YOU get a tip and YOU GET A TIP!!! I’M THE OPRAH OF LAX!
Personal Travel: I got it, I got it.  No need to carry my baggage, I’m set.  Thank you.

Internet:
Work Travel: I absolutely need internet for the hour I’m at the airport.  There are moments in between chewing and US Weekly where I am totally getting work done.  Facebook is work! Networking.  Youtube is pop culture.  Whatever, let me just click here to make sure that receipt gets e-mailed to me for expense purposes.
Personal Travel: $20 for airport internet? Are you fucking kidding me?  How is it possible that normal land-based internet can be more expensive than GoGo Internet on the plane.  GoGo is in the FUCKING SKY (future!). UberTwitter on my berry covers all internet needs at LAX.

Airport Alcohol consumption: 
Work Travel:  I can never remember if it’s 2 Tylenol PM and 3 glasses of wine or 3 Tylenol PM and 2 glasses of wine that knocks me out for the whole red eye without actually putting me into a coma, so to be safe I go with 3 and 3. 
Leisure Travel: 3 and 3.  Definitely.  That thing is a flying death trap.

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