If it’s from Whole Foods, that means it’s healthy.

Right.  Because it’s a false statement.  While I often convince myself that every organic cookie, block of cheese, bottle of wine, container of dip or vial of heroin purchased at Whole Foods betters my health for some reason, this is not true.  It’s just a grocery store, it’s not magic fantasy land of world peace and 0 calorie donuts.  Whole Foods carrots are still good for you, Whole Foods jars of lard are still bad for you (mmm…jars of lard).

Oddly enough, the true counterpart to the above statement (“If it’s from Whole Foods, that means it’s EXPENSIVE”) is also not found on Google, but that’s what I’m here for.

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