What type of guys can I meet at Comic-con?

It’s that time of year again: Nerd Convention in San Diego.  I’ve read just about every Comic-Con related preview article there is, but no one has focused on the microcosm of Comic-con as a dating environment.  As a girl really experienced in being single, and also experienced in surviving Comic-Con, let me outline who you can expect to meet this weekend in and around the San Diego Convention Center:

THIS Guy: Mainstream Comic Character:

So obviously all of us want to get with Iron Man…but upon disection of that, we exclusively want to get with Iron Man as portrayed by Robert Downey, Jr.  Very…very…very few men look good in tights.  You will see the rest of them at Comic-con.

THIS Guy: Arbitrary Comic Character:

Alright.  We get it.  Guys dressed like Batman are total fairweather comic book fans, but you’re going to spend half the convention trying to convince girls that you’re cooler than Spiderman and the other half taking pictures with the other 10 guys who know what you’re dressed like.  That will leave you 0% of the convention to hook up, which is convenient, because the chick you were eyeing just left with Captain America.

THIS Guy: Confused about what costumes really fall under the Comic-Con umbrella:

This is not the guy to make babies with, as the odds are he’s planning on eating your young.

THIS Guy: Is that a costume?  It has to be, right?:

Ehhh – doesn’t matter.  If there’s a shred of a question on whether or not a clothing ensemble is a costume, the wearer is not dating material.

THIS Guy: Comic-Con Purist:

This guy doesn’t even want you near Comic-Con unless you collect rare first editions.  Kind of gives him a strange appeal, doesn’t it ladies?  TRICK QUESTION FOLLOWED BY AN OH NO GIRL, NO!  You stick with your own book interests and be that dream girl you are.  Oh, also…this guy is likely to eat your young too.

THIS Guy: Hollywood Douchebag who is just there for an entertainment industry party completely unrelated to comic books:

This guy is easily identifiable by the spray tan, blazer-$100 t shirt-sneakers combo, the look he gives any door guy that doesn’t know him (Fuckin San Diego, Man.  This would NEVER happen at Voyeur!) and either a UTA business card or an IMDB guest star credit.  Worth ingratiating self with if you came unprepared on the guest list front (I’m the first to judge, but the last to turn down an open bar), but not worth doing anything that will make the next industry mixer interaction awkward.

THIS guy: San DieBRO:

I think this is an excellent time to remind everyone: What Happens at Comic-Con, Stays at Comic-con…except for incriminating Facebook pictures and Herpes.  Any guy who starts sentences with “Dude…”, wears Hollister or has to drive north to get to Orange County is an Oh No girl, No.

So moral of the story: Even if you do manage to find THIS guy: (Cute by Comparison after 3 days in Comic-Con and 4 drinks in the Gaslamp District)…

…they’re all there to find THIS girl (Megan Fox or anyone else who looks vaguely like Wonder Woman):

…so just get yourself back to LA where the pickings don’t look so slim anymore.

Happy Nerd Hunting!

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2 Responses to “What type of guys can I meet at Comic-con?”

  1. Katie M. Says:

    Genius.

  2. Dan Says:

    I wish I could say this isn’t accurate…but…it’s accurate.

    And FYI, Arbitrary Comic Character is actually the Batman from the future, aka Terry McGinnis from Batman Beyond. That’s right…I’m engaged.

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