Is it more painful to get a tattoo put on or removed?


The physical, mental and financial pain associated with getting a tattoo removed makes it SO much more badass than getting it put on.  Let me break it down:

You aren’t 18 anymore.  Everything is inherently less painful when you are 18.  It’s science.  I’m not sure the science behind it, and probably wouldn’t understand it even if it was illustrated in crayon, but somehow the same science that makes hangovers less painful when you are young also applies to searing pain to the back.

He'll be back on the swing in 2 minutes. This shit would take me out of the game for the rest of my 20s.

The room reeks of burning flesh.  Specifically: your burning flesh.  Something about the smell of part of your body burning intensifies the pain.

Smells like an SVU episode up in this piece

The flesh burning lady is mean.  Ok.  I get it.  I got a permanent picture drawn on my back when I was an adolescent and now it’s your job to fix it.  But…maybe don’t use the phrase “seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?” EVERY TIME YOU’RE BURNING MY FLESH OFF.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?"

It’s not a one time deal. We’re talking 10 sessions.  Maybe more, if the color is too deep (Actual quote from the flesh burning lady: “Yeah, this type of green takes a lot of work.”  That doesn’t sound scientific).  Session one is painful, therefore by session two you know the pain to expect, and anticipate it.  There is no irrational fear of the unknown, there is a tangible fear of the flesh burning lady.

You're in for a world of pain.

The thrill of doing something kind of stupid doesn’t exist.  I twisted my ankle sky diving once (sky dive landing, really).  It kind of hurt, I guess, but I grit my teeth and smiled through the pain.  A few weeks later I stubbed my toe and limped for like 2 years.  We mentally overcome self-inflicted stupidity pain much more quickly than we do mundane action pain.

"This pain will be nothing compared to my YouTube fame"

It’s $1,000 dollars. What?  Repeat? It’s $1,000 dollars. Oddly enough, even my medical plan that covers unnecessary back massages does not touch my tattoo removal costs.  Talk about health care crisis.  I’m starting to sound a bit like my mother, but we’d have fewer tattooed mistakes if it cost as much to put on as it does to take it off.

I spent $1000 and all I got was this stupid scar tissue.

Individual Results may vary. I mean…seriously. 

Looks MUCH better.

At 2 sessions in, I feel I am already qualified to assess: MUCH more painful coming off.  In every way.  2 sessions down, 8 to go.



One Response to “Is it more painful to get a tattoo put on or removed?”

  1. wittylittlesecret Says:

    Wait. Can you drink heavily for treatment three? I mean did you have to drink heavily to decide to get one put on your fingers in the first place? In the alternative, if you can’t drink heavily, can you at least cut off the offending hand? Might be cheaper. And less painful. Just think about it.

    Hey, I love your blog. Was searching the internet for something that I couldn’t find. OH the irony …

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